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  • Denise L. Carlini

Mothering as a Verb

Updated: Jul 6, 2020

I'm from Detroit, Michigan (Motown) and find myself invariably using automobile metaphors. I can't help myself. It runs deep in my blood. I'm also proud of the city of my birth, despite, no because of its challenges. That is another matter and the subject of a future blog perhaps. Today, I will use a story from baseball, another area where I like to pluck metaphors.

Years ago and for many years I was the catcher of a co-ed softball team. They were good times with very good people. One day, a ball hit my nose. I don't remember how - did it get past the batter and hit my mask? Did I miss a throw? Did the other team hit me while I ran the bases. I can't remember. What I do remember most clearly is that Dr. Doom (aka Mark) provided the best advice and bedside manner while my nose spurted blood. So many people, male and female - had a view to help, but Dr. Doom had the touch of a gentle, soothing mother. Who would have thought? This man later went on to adopt a daughter and I witnessed over the years how she benefited from his wise and gentle manner.

So, I say, think about the people you know and their individual ability to provide care, concern, support, patience, advice, tenderness, nurturing and nourishment. The qualities we long for in others (and ourselves I would guess) are often the very qualities that we think/feel a mother should provide. While, in general, these qualities are good-to-have and yes, if you are a parent, a real bonus, they are, in fact, gender-less. They are human qualities and we can cultivate them if we desire.

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