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  • Denise L. Carlini

Taking Time

Updated: Jul 6, 2020

We recently received feedback from a customer in a review of our book, Motherhood - Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity, that it takes time that the prospective reader didn't have. This really pushed me into the philosophical sphere of considering time and its nature, a very large sphere indeed. I have empathy for this woman. She could be feeling internal pressure to decide right away. She may have very real reasons why taking 12 weeks to decide if being a mother/parent is the right choice for her.

I semi-regularly read a blog column devoted to the disease of busyness. It's an apt description to call it a dis-ease to my mind. Many of us rush around daily. We do too much. We have multiple demands. Perhaps we say yes too much. All of this rushing is making us sick. We are tired, not as perceptive as we could be. We miss cues that can help us make better choices. Being busy has a momentum all its own; it's hard to stop, and like a bad habit it won't go away on its own.

We have to take control of our own relationship to being busy. We may not be able to lighten our work/demands load, but we can change our relationship to how we perceive time. We can get into the driver's seat and pay closer attention to everything we say yes to. We can realistically assess just how many hours in a day we have to devote to activities. We can realistically assess what we need to care for ourselves, things like ample rest, relaxation and play. They are nourishing and necessary to allow us to do all of the other things we do.

Slowing down is increasingly hard to do. Pay attention to your daily speed.

Practices like meditation are good antidotes. Walking gently in a pleasing setting to take some much needed time out in a busy day can also serve. "Time out" can give perspective. It can help you to realize where you might have some choice in what you attend to and how. Certainly, time spent meditating (and it doesn't have to be long, just consistent) acts against the momentum of busyness and it can also cultivate clarity.

Much can be said about this topic. More to come. Share your comments.

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